Halloween and Election Day: The Hidden Connections

I've spent most of this weekend strolling the streets of Roxborough, leaving doorhangers for labor candidate for state representative Hugh Giordano. This has given me plenty of time to think, and today a profound insight came to me about the relationship between Halloween and Election Day.

For some years I'd noticed the temporal proximity of the two days, and certain parallels. I'd come to refer to the period they bookend as "Monster Week," because on both days we find the streets filled with scary creatures making loud noises and demanding we supplicate them -- first with candy, then with votes. I figured it was just a coincidence.

But today I realized otherwise. Consider: Halloween is the one day when the dead return temporarily to the land of the living. Because of how the elections are scheduled, they only have to stay here a few more days to participate before returning home. Can there be any doubt that this is precisely why Election Day is held when it is? There's none in my mind. It's too great a coincidence to have happened by chance.

Of course, the dead aren't allowed to vote, on the grounds that they don't have a "fixed stake" in the affairs of the living. But it shouldn't surprise us that some politicians will try to get around this when they think the dead will vote for them. The fact that they usually appear to vote as a bloc confirms this hypothesis.

Speaking of the Underworld, this also explains another observation: the fact that the dead vote in significantly higher numbers in South Philadelphia than in other parts of the city. This can be explained by the consideration that more of the South Philly dead are restless. They can't find peace until their deaths are solved -- which may never happen because nobody saw anything. If this isn't proof of paranormal activity, I don't know what is!