Quote of the Month: Revolution on Unlocking Joy

After becoming adults, we tend to lose grip of our imagination, and start to rigidly believe in reality. Sometimes, for children, it’s best to stop thinking about what’s possible or not possible, and think in terms of hope, faith, and wonder. To let go you need to turn off that voice in your head that tells you what can be real or not, and let the child guide you away from the ideas of a limited world. This is the most important lesson a child can teach. -- Revolution

The full text of Revolution's essay appears below.




Unlocking Joy: Being a Child’s Best Friend

by Revolution


Children are people, and people need someone to listen to them and their ideas. It doesn’t matter what those ideas are; children will value your open mind and honesty. Seeing a child’s hopes, dreams, passions, and views as they would, and as intently as they might helps build a better bond between you and a child, whether you’re their parent, teacher, coach, aunt, uncle, or even just an older friend. So how does an adult gain the wisdom to see importance in what children believe? How can you be a child’s best friend? Here are a few tips below to improve your relations with kids, and be a real friend to them

1 Use your imagination

Your greatest tool for seeing things from a child’s perspective and understanding them is your imagination. You need to enter their world, and they’d be eager for the company if you have an open mind. Working on your creativity and being spontaneous are great ways to do this. Be wary of clinging to and applying adult rules to a child’s stories and games. It may take significant time to let go of all the adult ideas of how things are, but with determination, all grown-ups can let go of reality, and find their imagination once again.

2 Let go of your inclinations

After becoming adults, we tend to lose grip of our imagination, and start to rigidly believe in reality. Sometimes, for children, it’s best to stop thinking about what’s possible or not possible, and think in terms of hope, faith, and wonder. To let go you need to turn off that voice in your head that tells you what can be real or not, and let the child guide you away from the ideas of a limited world. This is the most important lesson a child can teach. Being free-spirited is something many children are experts in because the world is still new to them, and full of exciting things for them to see and do.

3 Understand the need to be serious at times

Although children usually show a more liberal imagination, it’s also important to understand that children have concerns that feel just as important to them as adult matters are to grown-ups. Some of these are basic needs, but sometimes, when children complain about school, or about rules set in the household, it’s time to listen to their side of the story, and see how they feel about a given situation. Whatever you do, make sure the child knows you’re treating their concerns as important, and you’re willing to consider their point of view valuable and well-considered given their circumstances. The first thing to do is to understand their interests and intentions. Children commonly have good intentions, but not much of an outlet for their ideas and concerns. As an adult playmate be willing to understand why rules are important from the child’s perspective, and follow any rules set for the child as if you were their equal. For things that are ingrained in decades of tradition, it can be very hard to understand the reasoning for a child. For those things that are difficult to understand from their perspective, you can begin to question the validity of the rules yourself, and explain your thought process to the child in a manner they’ll be able to comprehend.

4 Understand that children are intolerant of lies

Children are very good at detecting lies, and if you fib, they’ll quickly sense what they understand as an inconsistency. Make sure that no matter what, you are honest with children, or else they’ll be very upset
with you. A lie can infuriate a child, and rightfully so. If they catch you lying, be prepared to immediately correct yourself and make an honest apology, or else they’ll begin to model a negative image of you in their mind. To be honest with children you need to express your optimum of empathy and know how best to explain the truth without the omission of details. This can seem tough, because adults may get scared when they need to tell a child a hard truth. Grown-ups think the child on the receiving end won’t understand that truth. However, it’s essential to be honest with children, given their strong opinions about those they’ve learned not to trust.

5 Understand that children are people

Children are first and foremost individuals, and each one is unique. There’s no magic formula to deal with others, and children are no exception. Make sure you respect all the intricacies of a child’s personality, and always be willing to learn about them and how they’re different. It’s easy to see children as individuals with unique hopes, dreams, desires, and needs. All that you need to do is pay attention to the children in your life, and their personalities, interests, and beliefs. You will see a vast diversity from one child to the next, just like you would with any group.

I hope these tips help you to better relate to children you know. I strongly believe that following these tips will light up their world and make them feel that you are worthy of their respect. After all, with the right treatment and consideration, any child can feel important and loved by adults.